• 4th October 1820

    During dinner, marrying happening to be mentioned, I declared my determination against it & Mr Duffin understood. “I fear it,” said he, “& more the shame.” “Shame,” said I. “I see no shame in consulting your own happiness” & the subject was soon ended. Both Mr Duffin & Miss Marsh would evidently have had it otherwise But I care not & they must see their efforts are in vain.

Secret Diaries Past & Present

Was Anne Lister unique as the only lesbian who kept a diary in code so that she could talk freely about her love-affairs with women? In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, I was convinced that she was.

Imagine my surprise when in the summer of 2011 I heard of a present-day lesbian diarist, Natasha Holme, who had been writing in a secret code since she was a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.

I was immediately intrigued to think that two women, separated by some two hundred years, found it necessary not only to live a veiled life due to their sexuality, but were also both driven to record it all in minute and coded detail.

Although we had exchanged e-mails to begin with I first actually met Natasha when I gave a paper on Anne Lister at Queen Mary University in London. On our next meeting we talked about working on an article which would be a “compare and contrast” document, the core idea of which was an exploration of the similarities and differences, as diarists and as lesbians, between modern-day Natasha and Anne Lister, a woman who lived some two hundred years earlier.

Now, five years later, the original ‘article’ has expanded into a short book, entitled Secret Diaries Past & Present by Helena Whitbread and Natasha Holme. It is available both in print and as an e-book from Amazon.

Have you ever recorded any of your private life in code?

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