• 10th Nov 1818

    Ellen [Empson] & I had a long confab. Told her I was often in low spirits & she owned I had some reason – my father’s managing his estate so ill & living in that quere [sic] sort of way at Weighton. I said I often wanted a companion – someone to take care of me & now she was gone there was nobody I cared about. Said she, very innocently, “Why did you let me marry?” “What could I do? You never asked me.” “That is true enough. I never asked anybody.” She seemed to feel a great deal interested about me – said I was odd but hoped I would not change.

Secret Diaries Past & Present

Was Anne Lister unique as the only lesbian who kept a diary in code so that she could talk freely about her love-affairs with women? In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, I was convinced that she was.

Imagine my surprise when in the summer of 2011 I heard of a present-day lesbian diarist, Natasha Holme, who had been writing in a secret code since she was a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.

I was immediately intrigued to think that two women, separated by some two hundred years, found it necessary not only to live a veiled life due to their sexuality, but were also both driven to record it all in minute and coded detail.

Although we had exchanged e-mails to begin with I first actually met Natasha when I gave a paper on Anne Lister at Queen Mary University in London. On our next meeting we talked about working on an article which would be a “compare and contrast” document, the core idea of which was an exploration of the similarities and differences, as diarists and as lesbians, between modern-day Natasha and Anne Lister, a woman who lived some two hundred years earlier.

Now, five years later, the original ‘article’ has expanded into a short book, entitled Secret Diaries Past & Present by Helena Whitbread and Natasha Holme. It is available both in print and as an e-book from Amazon.

Have you ever recorded any of your private life in code?

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